|
|
|
|
||
The late Arthur AldridgeIt has become rather obvious that if one were to ponder the current status of the SCOXQ.PK litigious clown-show, it would be a situation entirely similar to questions put forth to the late Arthur Aldridge: (A coffin is brought into the court and laid across the witness box.) Judge: Mr Bartlett, do you think there is any relevance in questioning the deceased? Counsel: I beg your pardon m'lud. Judge: Well, I mean, your witness is dead. Counsel: Yes, m'lud. Er, ,well, er, virtually, m'lud. Judge: He's not completely dead? Counsel: No he's not completely dead m'lud. No. But he's not at all well. Judge: But if he's not dead, what's he doing in a coffin? Counsel: Oh, it's purely a precaution m'lud - if I may continue? Mr Aldridge, you were a... you are a stockbroker of xo Savundra Close, Wimbledon. (from the coffin comes a bang) Mr Aldridge... Judge: What was that knock? Counsel: It means 'yes' m'lud. One knock for 'yes', and two knocks for 'no'. If I may continue? Mr Aldridge, would it be fair to say that you are not at all well? (from the coffin comes a bang) In fact Mr Aldridge, not to put too fine a point on it, would you be prepared to say that you are, as it were, what is generally known as, in a manner of speaking, 'dead'? (silence, counsel listens;) Mr Aldridge I put it to you that you are dead. (silence) Ah ha! Judge: Where is all this leading us? Counsel: That will become apparent in one moment m'lud. (walking over to coffin) Mr Aldridge are you considering the question or are you just dead? (silence) I think I'd better take a look m'lud. (he opens the coffin and looks inside) No further questions m'lud. Judge: What do you mean, no further questions? You can't just dump a dead body in my court and say 'no further questions'. I demand an explanation. Counsel: There are no easy answers in this case m'lud. Judge: I think you haven't got the slightest idea what this case is about. Counsel: M'lud the strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly m'lud reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous ... Judge: Mr Bartlett, your client has already pleaded guilty to the parking offence. Thanks to http://www.montypython.net/scripts/courtscene.php for the script, it is so very apropos for the sham herein.Have a nice day all. Don't worry, be happy! freecode |
return to message board, top of board |
Msg # | Subject | Author | Recs | Date Posted |
157498 | Re: The late Arthur Aldridge | inspector_renault | 0 | 2/24/2020 12:27:45 PM |