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Thoughts RMBS, AT case, verdict, financial loss, and emotional pain (part 1)
I am the son of a Rambus LTL. I am nineteen and have been following RMBS since 2006 when I bought my first shares. 12 to be exact. I enjoyed the 2006 rise and then fall of RMBS. To say the least my investing experience has been an excellent learning experience. I began following this board a year or two ago and although I never posted I began to get to know various posters and I felt apart of the Rambus family. One of the best and most difficult things for me to learn as an investor in RMBS was to control my emotions and frustration when things in Rambusland didn't go as planned or hoped. It has been difficult. Although there were many large bumps in the road between now and 2006 the loosing of the AT case has been the hardest for me to accept and digest. Going into the trial I had a lot of my hard earned money invested in RMBS. I had 150 shares. I followed the board consistently through the trial and deliberations. I even managed to check it while I was in Peru. After returning home I had some money left over so I decided to buy my first option contracts. (30 Nov 25 for $.16) From all that I had read on this board and knew about Rambus I was sure there was going to be a positive verdict. I continued to look forward to the verdict and my excitement grew over the weeks. Along came the fateful Wednesday. I manage a small investment fund and a few days earlier I had sold some shares of a utility company so I had some dry powder. My father and I decided that we should purchase some more shares of the Bus for a total of 200. Late morning we sat in front of my father's computer screen, after Reuters announced that the jury had come to a conclusion and that the verdict was going to be read, watching the Nov 25's contracts take off. I was up about five times my money that morning. Man was that exhilarating. I had bought the funds shares around $18.30. I sat glued to the computer screen twenty minutes before the verdict was to be read. I had Twitter open waiting on the edge of my seat for any word from UTPT. IV was completely down so this was my only source of info. My father had left for work after trading was halted. As the news of the loss hit me I entered into a state of shock and emotional something that I still have pangs of. I couldn't believe what was being tweeted. Nor could my father when I called him.
I haven't lost so much money in those few seconds after trading opened in my entire life, and I hope I don't beat that record. I did place a stop market order(I know I shouldn't have), but who thought the stock was going to $4. My shares hit the tape at $7.09 and when I count my option loss I was over $2000 the poorer. (I know for most here this is not much, but for me it was over two thirds of my net worth.) I saw the stock go to four. I was watching my TD Ameritrade streamer as the four was illuminated in yellow. I won't forget it. My fund also took a huge hit.
Okay, its been almost a week now I am now well on my way to putting it all behind me. I lost 2k and now I won't be able to pay upfront my college tuition for this next semester but other than that I am alive and well. It was really tough for me to know that so many people got hit really hard. I felt sick and depressed. I couldn't even ask God WHY? I felt to frustrated and angry. it was and is very difficult for me to understand. I had plenty of ideas swirling around my head concerning what I was going to do with my earnings. It was a sore disappointment to see all that blow away in the wind in less than a day. I know that there are people on this board who don't like preaching, but I am a Christian so I have to do a little bit of it. Regardless of whether or not we loose money and regardless of the amount God still loves us. Its very difficult to see this when one is going through extremely trying and difficult times. We are to store up treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy them. Although we may be going through extremely difficult times in our lives, emotionally, financially, even spiritually(for some of us who couldn't see why God would allow something like this to happen) Jesus Christ has provided us with an eternal hope if only we believe in Him. He died to forgive us of our sins. This truth can carry us through the most difficult and trying times. It may not look like Jesus loves us at certain times in our lives, but we need to believe. Dying is the clearest way someone can show love for another. Jesus died for us, let us press forward with this truth in our hearts and minds.