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The Perfect ManA man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Passenger: “Who ?” Cabbie: “Frank… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.” Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” Cabbie: “Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano ! He was an amazing guy.” Passenger: “Sounds like he was somebody really special.” Cabbie: “Oh well there’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with, and he could fix anything. Not like me – I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank, he could do everything right.” Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.” Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man ! I never knew him to make a mistake ! No one could ever measure up to Frank.” Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?” Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died, and I marrried his wife.” |
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