During my recent vacation to North Carolina, I was driving along a rural highway and came across a sign that said:

“Talking Dog 4 Sale”

The sign was intriguing, so I stopped and knocked at the door. A fellow answered, and when I asked about the talking dog, he invited me into the backyard to see it.

The dog was an older looking golden lab.

“So, you are the talking dog?” I asked jokingly.

“Yes, I am,” said the dog.

As you can imagine, I was seriously taken aback! After I recovered from the shock of hearing this, I asked the dog, “So, what is your story?”

The dog said: “Well, when I was just a pup, I learned to talk. The C.I.A. drafted me into their service when I was 1 year old. I spent the better part of the next 7 years in that organization. I traveled all over the world, and gathered intelligence information from the highest sources, Heads of State, international spies, arms dealers, drug lords and so on. See, nobody expects a dog to be able to understand, let alone talk. When I was about 8 years old, I got tired of all the travel, and international flights, so I was offered a position at O’Hare airport in Chicago working security. I would mingle with passengers, and worked the cargo area listening for information. I received numerous medals and awards during my career, and was honoured at a dinner in the White House. I fathered 7 litters of puppies, and finally retired here.”

I turned to the Owner, and said: “How much for the dog?”

“10 bucks” he said.

“10 bucks!” I asked. “Why so cheap?”

“Damn thing is a liar,” he said. “S.O.B. has never even been out of the yard!”